great is Thy faithfulness

My time here has continued to be a blessed and sweet time. I was running by myself in the gym earlier this week, listening to music, praying and reflecting on all that is going on and I just started crying. It has been an overwhelming time leaving Austin and coming to this place where everything is new, but has been a dream and desire of mine to be here for the past couple of years. I feel so blessed and humbled to see the faithfulness of the Lord in bringing me here. And I love it!

I have been given so much support, encouragement and love by so many people - its crazy to stop and think about how many people are praying for me. And all I can do is thank God for who He is and the way He provides all we need. And He is moving and working in beautiful ways - one of which I would like to share with you all.

The first week I was here, one of the Littles kind of reached out to me and shared a lot about herself with me and asked me some questions about my own life. I have been helping her with her math homework over the past several nights - its a strange thing how much I enjoy helping the girls with their math homework - but its a great way to begin to connect with some of the girls and develop a relationship with them. On Tuesday night, I took her to the bathroom (with some of the girls you have to stay within 5 feet of them at all times) and she asked me to do a Bible study with her so she could be more consistent in her time in the Word. The crazy thing was that just before this I was running in the gym seeking God about what He wants me to do here and how He wants me to make Him known to the people around me. I love reading His Word and engaging with other people, so it was like an answer to prayer to have her ask. I was surprised and amazed that she took initiative to ask me! In my head I was just thinking, "What are you doing God?" It was humbling that she would ask me since I have only been here a week, but I was definitely excited!

The next afternoon after she got out of school, we got our Bibles and she invited a brand new little who came on Tuesday to join us. We went downstairs to a lounge area and began reading the first chapter of Ephesians. As we began to discuss the first few verses, it was amazing to listen to the 2 Littles talk about their faith and the questions they have about God, life, predestination and the battles we find ourselves fighting in our minds wiht things we don't understand - and all the emotions that come with that. I could relate to some of their struggles, and the questions they have I even have myself. I was so encouraged by each of them and seeing their honesty with the Lord in the midst of their doubts, fears, hurts, and so much more. One of the Littles left for an hour to meet with her counselor while the new Little and I just hung out and talked as she shared her story with me, which involves a lot of loss and hurt and struggling. The day she came, I instantly found this place in my heart for her that I can't really explain, but I really enjoyed listening to her. The other Little came back when counseling was over and I began to share some of my story with them. It was a beautiful time to see how we have struggled with some of the same things. The two Littles also have discovered they have a lot in common and have begun to establish a close connection. At the end of our time, I walked away encouraged, excited and humbled. I feel blessed and grateful that they were willing to share parts of their heart and life with me. I am excited to see what God is going to do in them, and in me, as we get to walk through this time together. I am humbled before God who is Sovereign and allows pain and hurt in our lives. It is also hard to understand His grace and unconditional love, to accept the truth of the gospel, that we are loved in spite of our failures. Amazing grace...its sweet, but a hard thing to grasp. To learn how to really believe and trust the truth that we know and allow those things to push out the lies we so often fall into.

During my time here so far, which seems much longer than it actually has been, I realize more and more how much I don't know, and I have so many questions. I want to know what it means to truly love like Christ. I want to see Christ glorified and to see Him bring true healing, freedom, peace and grace to the lives of those around me. I want the girls to believe for themselves that they are beautiful. I want to know Christ more. And I am coming to know Him more. Its been so sweet. I can't unbelievable how much peace I have experienced here and how much freedom I have felt to be myself. I've wiped out on the snow, spilled milk and cereal on myself, turned bright red in front of people, said ridiculous things, and yet I've just laughed and embraced more of who I am. There have been awkward moments, fun moments, intense moments, times where I have no idea what I am doing, and moments where I have cried. But I have also taken chances to just dive in and try things out or to just sit back and watch and learn and listen. I can only praise God for His grace and patience, and I am excited for what He has next. Right now, I simply praise Him for His faithfulness. His faithfulness that stretches to the sky! Amen. Much love to you all!

Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, Your faithfulness to the skies.
Psalm 36:5